June 13 is the feast of St Anthony whose given name was
Fiorucci
Fabiano
Fernando
Fillibuster. He was famous for a variety of miracles, including that he was able to convert a heretic named
A von millo
b von buelo
c van der volgen. The heretic was mocking the eucharist until a donkey showed it reverence in the town of
Rimini
Romualdo
Rastafar
Romero Anthony is also famous for teaching friars to
A read
B grow mustard trees
C understand the bible
D hoe a tough row.
Anthony was planning to join not the Franciscans but the
A Haile Lassie
B Augustian
C Party of the Progressives
D gangs of new york.
According to Jesus the mustard seed may be the smallest seed but the tree that it grows into is the largest.
DISCUSS.
Sometimes quoth the Friar we dont even really know what we want. For example we might want a milliion, or. a billion. or just a brand new maserati and a vinyard in Toscano.
Ok we can get back to this later.
At any rate, Jesus is sounding crazy today in Mateo when he says we should turn the other cheek go the extra mile and give a guy our jacket when he asks for our shirt.
This is just over the top, (get it--TOP)according to human logic.
You have to wonder if he ran for PM of Israel would he be defeating Naftali and his millions? Who knows? WOuld the Romans still be threatening to take over and burn all the beets?
DISCUSS
Yesterday we neglected to mention the feast of St Elisha who of course was the witness to the sweet chariot swinging low to pick up his professor, Elija.
It was not a gold bugatti but in fact, a chariot driven by angels, likely Uriel at the wheel.
The wheels of a bugatti are only a poor imitation of the wheeling planets orbiting our star and remember all of the billions of stars are powered by some energy source.
But what is it?
TS ELIOT would say, "o do not ask what is it, let us go and make our visit", in other words, let;s find out where this energy comes from.
Elisha was quick to respond to Elija when first called, he was doing what?
A. Smoking and drinking.
B. plauying hookey from temple.
C. Plowing with a yoke of oxen.
D. Buttering biscuits.
When Elija called him he
A. Said, yeah, ah NOT.
B.Said how much does this prophet gig pay though.
C. burned the yoke and cooked the oxen to sacrifice it to God.
None of the above.
Elisha saw Elijah get picked up in the chariot so he grabbed his cloak, threw it in the river and cried
A where is the lord the God of Elija
B. where is the ferry to Provincetown?
C. Where is the carnival cruise line?
D. WHere's john the baptist when you really need him
And what happened?
A. the river said I have no idea.
B. There came a tidal wave and washed him away.
C The river parted and let him across.
D. He got hit in the head with manna from heaven.
Today's readings are about loving your neighbor, sharing your wealth and not practicing vendetta.Love your enemies and this merits a whole other discussion.
St Paul was doing a lot of fundraising back in the day and today we find him in
A. Santa Monica
B. Lubbock, Texas.
C. Macedonia.
D. Lufthansa.
it was one thing for Acts 4:32-35 to function in a small setting, but try getting stimulus money to a church thats spreading all over the Roman empire without direct deposit.
Nonetheless we have to do it, if we are going to "love our neighbor and also our enemy" as the gospel mandates.
UBD UNIVERSAL BASIC DINNER. as Pope Francis says "LET US DREAM."
When you pray
A. go into your room and close the door.
B. Go into a church and sit in the front while shouting wow am I holy or what.
C. Both a and B.
D. Neither A nor b.
God of course can see through walls and will know that you are
A. holier than everyone else.
B. praying to him.
C. trying to avoid milking cows and stuff.
D. a hopeless case.
THe point is not to be an exhibitionist because in that case
A. you already got your prize.
B. You will have a big bill at Lords and Taylors.
C. You will fall off a balcony in Beirut while trying to preach world peace.
D. God is jealous and wants to be the most popular person on the planet.
WHen you fast make sure to wear plenty of
A. Aqua di Gio by Giorgio Frassati oops Armani.
B. Obsession by Calvin Klein.
C. Musk, by Elon Musk.
Dior, by Dionisio and the Gabuzzis.
And for heavens sake dont make a show of giving millions to charity who are you the second coming of Gates Besos Zuck all three combined.
Just dont let your right hand know what your left hand is doing.
The friar was quite excited about this whole prospect so let's try to get excited about it too.
at least the Armani part, thats pretty exciting.
St Paul gets a little rhetorical and shows his oratorical training in todays gospel, Do bear with me he cries, and concludes AND WHY? BECAUSE I DO NOT LOVE YOU? GOD KNOWS I DO!!
But if our father "already knows what we need before we ask" then why do we have to ask at all?
DISCUSS